Losing someone you love is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, but COVID-19 is robbing us of many things. When you lose a loved one, a warm hug from a friend or a neighbour can give you strength and reassurance. But the families who lost their loved ones to COVID-19 are even deprived of this emotional support. Because of fear of spread of the infectious virus, some families can’t even have a public funeral to pay their last respect to their loved ones. People on the other side are also feeling devastated and helpless that they can’t offer comfort to the bereaved families due to lockdown and the necessity to maintain social distancing. If you are finding it difficult to know what to say and how to offer support to someone who has lost a loved one due to this pandemic, you can try these ways to offer comfort to the sufferer.
Utilize the technology
Even if you can’t rush to their side and give them hugs, you can still reach out to them and show your love virtually. You can video chat or text or leave video or audio messages showing your condolences. If the bereaved is someone close to you, talk about your memories of the one who has passed. It is OK if your grieving friend doesn’t respond immediately. He/she might be very distressed at the moment and may not know to react to such a tragedy at first. Continue to keep in touch and offer possible help. Let the person know that he/she is not alone and that you are there to share his grieve.
Send something
Instead of asking if there is anything you can do, send some thoughtful tokens such as food, flowers, COVID-essentials, or other hard-to-find items. The bereaved person is likely emotionally overwhelmed to know what he/she needs or want. You can also help set up a crowdfunding campaign to cover the cost of the eventual funeral. However, first let the bereaved person or family know whatever you are doing, because your goal is to support them and not to hurt them more.
Lend an understanding ear
Lending an ear would be the kindest thing you can do for someone grieving a loss. Be patient and offer to listen to whatever he or she needs to say. Don’t say that you know how they’re feeling. Even though you’ve also suffered your own losses in the past, his/her grief may not be the same as yours. Everyone reacts differently to a situation and it is important to accept the differences. Let the person pour out her heart to you, which would make her feel a bit lighter. Allow the bereaved person to express whatever he or she is feeling. Be available to listen to them as much and as often as they wish to talk about the person who died. It may be difficult for you to hear, but this can be helpful for them. Make sure you don’t use any language that may be judgemental. Also, never tell the grieving person what he or she should do.